Well here we are ... after 6 years of relationship. After 3 years of living together. And our first year of marriage. I wanted to write about this, but in particular, I didn’t know about what, since declaring our love to the State has not really represented anything different between us, but it did for others. Now that I have been a señora for a year (insert crazy laughter), I’ve learned what marriage means for society, which is very used to make a fuss when, in the end, it’s only a paperwork. Nobody… absolutely nobody moved a finger, winked or lift an eyebrow when we decided to live together in Sweden, it was until we got the laws into all of this. However, we were celebrating our six years together. Someone on my Facebook shared an article about things that she had learned out of love, and now that our relationship is starting elementary school, is a great excuse to commemorate the lessons I have learned from love.
1. Icelandic and Swedish
This was my immediate response when I saw that post. At that time I was studying Icelandic, so maybe influenced my answer, since I had moved into two countries out of love and for this reason it opened me the doors to two Nordic languages. In theory, my Swedish level is equivalent to a B1 or B2, in practice, I don't like to speak it and that reduces me to the monosyllabic Ja or Nej. My path to fluency in Icelandic is just barely beginning, but at least I understand what people say and I can ask for the time. It’s something!
2. Patience
“Paciencia, prudencia, verbal contingencia, dominio de ciencia, según conveniencia…” Before moving to Sweden, I didn’t consider myself an impatient person. On the contrary, I have always been rather calm. I was wrong. If what you want, dear reader, is to reap this divine virtue, there is no better way than waiting for any bureaucratic procedure. Going through a first process for the Swedish residence, and another, much less problematic in Iceland, for the same type of permit, taught us to take things calmly, on the verge of stoicism. Which brings me to the next point.
3. Be an expert in paperwork
Since we had gone through three bureaucratic systems (the Mexican, the Swedish and the Icelandic) at this point, there is no paper that I need that I don’t know what to do. I must clarify something, doing paperwork was a process that made me anxious, since the time I had to pay a peso to get into my high school. I remember being in the car, with the bank’s format when my father told me "you have to start doing these procedures alone, so pay attention to every detail." During all that registration process, I went alone, while in line were the mothers of my classmates, cleaning their snot. Today, I know better. They no longer sent me back because I am missing a paper, I know that I shouldn’t waste my time asking stupid questions that are stated in big letters on the Internet, and I find myself more relaxed with any encounter with bureaucracy anywhere.
4. Planning and finances
Living with another person, in itself, is included with a financial plan. Knowing how to budget, to not spend your entire money on trivial things, or to save enough for some mishap or whatever is needed. Everything times two. But I have never had a bigger lesson in planning, budgeting and finances in my life than moving from Sweden to Iceland, with all our stuff. Yes, maybe that was not mentioned previously in this blog, but we had the great idea of bringing our things with us and the only way to do it was by boat. Suddenly, we find ourselves in the middle of costs, delivery times, shipments, signatures here and there, pallets, trucks, flights, and tons of papers. Everything had to go perfectly. Planning our move was a Jenga match, because if one piece failed, everything would collapse and we would be stranded in Sweden forever. And, we did it!
